The Elephant in the Room: Navigating Loss at 60 - Episode #5

They say time heals all wounds. But what they don't tell you is that at sixty, time also gives you a longer memory to sit with those wounds.

In this deeply personal and vulnerable episode of Next Chapter, Uncensored, host Liana Rowlands tackles the ultimate elephant in the room: grief.

Society expects us to package our losses into neat little boxes, give it a few weeks of casseroles, and "move on." But Liana strips away the filters to talk about what grief actually looks like at 60. From losing her mother at 20 and her sister at 41, to the shattering losses of her marriage, her children's father, and eventually her career at 59, Liana lays it all bare.

If you have ever found yourself awake at 3:00 AM staring at the ceiling—grieving a person, a relationship, a job, or simply the version of yourself you used to be—this episode is your reminder that you are not broken. You are just carrying a lot of history.

Tune in to discover how to look at your scars, take back the wheel, and realize that the woman you used to be has simply paved the way for the incredible woman you are becoming. It’s time to find ourselves again, together.

In this episode, we discuss:

• The "3 AM Roll Call": Dealing with the heavy, late-night thoughts where past losses sit on your chest.
• The Hidden Grief: How we learn to "out-busy" our sadness during the day and hide our pain to make society comfortable.
• Losing Your Identity: Navigating the painful moments when titles (wife, employee, daughter) are stripped away, leaving you feeling invisible.
• Reclaiming the Driver's Seat: How to acknowledge your history without letting it dictate your ending, and how Liana is reinventing family, purpose, and self at 60.

If this episode spoke to your heart, please share it with a friend who needs to hear it today. Don't forget to hit Follow or Subscribe, and leave a review to help other women find our community!

• Host: Liana Rowlands
• Podcast: Next Chapter, Uncensored
• Remember: Protect your peace, be kind to yourself, breathe, and remember... you are paving your new path.

Transcript

The Elephant in the Room - Grief

Speaker 0:12

Welcome back to next chapter on Censored. I'm Liana Rowlands, grab your beverage of choice, sit back, and let's chat.

Speaker 0:20

They tell you that time heals all wounds. What they don't tell you is that at 60, time also just gives you a longer memory to sit with those wounds, and today we are talking about the elephant in the room, grief. Grief is a constantly changing phenomenon. Society expects us to get over things. We are expected to get on with our lives and we do, all while quietly suffering through our pain.

A Timeline of Loss

Speaker 0:47

I have experienced grief in so many capacities throughout my life. I lost my mother at twenty years old. I lost a sister and best friend at forty one. At fifty, I grieved the loss of my marriage and my version of family and the life I thought I would have. At fifty six the unexpected loss of my children's father. I lost my job at fifty-nine, and I lost myself.

Reading My Losses Out Loud

Speaker 1:13

Wow. That is a lot when you write it down and then read it out loud. Let's just take a beat with that. Because if you're sitting there listening to this, I bet you have a list just like mine. Maybe you haven't said yours out loud lately either.

Speaker 1:28

When I look at those numbers twenty, forty one, fifty to fifty-nine, I realize that society wants us to package up grief in a neat little box with a bow. They give you a few weeks of casseroles, some polite checking in, and then the unspoken rule kicks in. Okay, time to move on. But moving on doesn't mean the pain evaporated. It just means we got really good at hiding it. During the day it's easy to outbusy the sadness. We do the chores, we take the phone calls, we fill the silence. But then the night comes. For me, it can be three o'clock in the morning. Do you know that feeling? You wake up, the house is dead, and suddenly your brain decides it's the perfect time to give you a front row seat to everything you've lost.

Grieving Who We Used to Be

Speaker 2:21

At three AM, I'm twenty again, wishing I could call my mum. At forty one, missing my sister so intensely it physically aches. And then the thoughts roll in about the marriage that ended at fifty, the unexpected shock at fifty six, and the career that was stripped away at fifty-nine. In that darkness, grief doesn't just knock on the door, it sits right on your chest and it's heavy. You realize you aren't just grieving events or people. You're grieving the version of yourself that knew exactly who she was. But here is what I'm learning as I sit in the dark at sixty years old. Those losses may be a part of my history, but they do not get to dictate my ending. For a long time, especially after losing my job and my sense of identity, I felt completely invisible. Like the universe was stripping away every single title that I used to define myself.

Stripped of My Titles, Not My Strength

Speaker 3:20

But lately, a new thought has been waking me up at 3 AM. A quieter, stronger thought. It's the realization that underneath the titles of wife, employee, or the young daughter I used to be, Liana is still here. She's a little bruised, sure, but she is completely uncensored, incredibly resilient, and ready for her next chapter. Reclaiming yourself after loss doesn't mean the grief disappears. It means you look at your scars and you say, Okay, you're coming with me. But I'm the one driving the car now. I am reinventing what family looks like for me. I am reinventing what purpose looks like, and I am getting to know the woman I am today. Not twenty, not forty-one, but sixty and still getting started.

Finding Ourselves, Together

Speaker 4:10

So if you are listening to this right now and you're in the middle of your 3 a.m. darkness, if you are staring at this ceiling, grieving a person, a relationship, a job, or just the person you used to be, I want you to hear me. You are not broken. You are just carrying a lot of history, and it's okay to admit that it's heavy. You don't have to have it all figured out by tomorrow morning. Just give yourself some grace. Take a deep breath, and remember that the woman you used to be paved the way for the woman you are becoming. We are going to find ourselves again together.

Speaker 4:49

Thank you so much for sitting with me today. It means the world to have you in our little corner of the podcast world. If this episode spoke to you, please share it with a friend who might need to hear it too. Hit that follow or subscribe button and leave a review if you can. It really helps other women find our community. I'll see you next week on next chapter uncensored. Until then, protect your peace. Be kind to yourself, breathe, and remember, you are paving your new path. Bye for now.

Music Attribution

Speaker 5:23

Special thank you to Moavii for the track Try Me, which was used under a free to use attribution license.